Saturday Mornings

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Me Time.

“What’s your ideal Saturday morning? Are you doing those things this morning? Why not?

I never seem to do my ideal Saturday mornings anymore. Which would be, hop out of bed, have a delicious cup of coffee in a sun room, (I don’t have a sun room, but I want one),  read the paper, then jump in the shower and get all the things done that need to get done. and do it with a smile. Did I do that today? No, I did not.

This morning started out with me sleeping in, or rather going back to sleep, which is never as good as it sounds, due to the fact that I seem to have my craziest “daymares” at that time. It is a time when dreams seem so real that sometimes I wake up and I am disappointed that they were just a dream. Other times, I wake up and I am relieved that they were only a dream. This morning, in particular, I was dreaming that my cat was talking to me. I know, silly, but everything was so peaceful that all I had to worry about was “how in the heck did that cat learn to talk?”

Then reality struck as soon as I opened my eyes again. The dreaded fear set in. The fear for my children’s well-being. The fear of what the day may bring. The fear of how much I had to fear. Unfounded fear. Just plain fear for no reason.

I have to make myself count my blessings that I have a warm bed and house to wake up in.

It’s just one of those days that although the sun is finally shining after a couple of weeks of bad weather, I am down. Depressed because now I have no excuse to sit around the house and mope. I have to get up, get dressed and meet the world, as in shopping for groceries.

Just one more day of wallowing in my unfounded fear? Please?

Then I will perk up and welcome the sun….hopefully.

That is at least what I hope my Saturdays will be like, someday. Like they were in my younger days when I greeted them with anticipation. When, the earlier, the better, because I loved getting out and driving or taking a walk before anyone else was up. When spending all day doing nothing was considered a waste of precious time.

I will get it back someday, just not today.